Here i am minding my own business, you konw, strolling through Mr. Price like i own the store, when this sales lady comes up to me. May i please help you?
Uhhmmmm, its ok. I got ths covered.
Soon i notice ten pairs of eyes following my every move.
Now honestly people!!!!!! Of the fifteen years i have spent on this earth, i have never attracted such attention that gives me the creeps. Its not like they are running at me for autographs (im working on how to get people to start doing that!), but they are just staring. Looking at me the way i look at guys when i am walking alone in the dark.
Wait a sec! Does that mean……..?
Oh no they di int!
So after i find out they are looking at me like that because they think i am a shoplifter, i decide to save face. I have to walk out of that place with those flimsy people begging to carry my bags. But thing is, i have really gone there to window shop, and the only item i need to save face is lacking in my pocketless skirt.
So i call up my girl shaniquintilishia. She knows what to do.
Ten minutes later she is down here with what i asked for. We collect as many clothes as possible and head to the changing room. I enter alone. It is not to be known that i know shaniquintilishia. Ofcourse the sales people allow their eyes to drag their bodies along, and yes, they follow me. I am done feeling insulted! They are gong to cry for me when i am through with them.
After taking snaps in the clothes to upload on facebook so people think our wardrobes are wide, i walk out, announcing how i wanted to buy things but the customer service is pathetic. I approach the entrance where everyone can see me, and right there; right in the middle where attention seekers love to parade, ooops, i drop my wallet. (pause)
The trick is for shaniquintilishiasha to be the first one to pick up the wallet, quickly before anyone else notices that the notes are actually those old 100, 200 and 500shs notes that no longer exist, (yeah! she collects them!) but not so fast that the sales ladies miss the show. They will then bring out the expenxsive things they were hiding, and you can mumble how you have no time!
All in all, walking out of there with my head held high is great, but how many more times will i have to put on a show before people start looking at me like i can afford alot??