Campusers. The sources of all evil! That is what many believe, and i am proud to say i am one of them. These people, especially the girls, have a way of life that is just too too baed, especially when you need them for revenge on the male species.
You can either arrange for her to bleed his pockets dry till he cries out for blood transfusion, or you could just arrange for her to wreck his family and everything he has built for the past 30years. These are usually the two options that are presented when the topic is brought up for discussion. But alas there is another one. This one had even me, the revenge seeker, in thick blankets because i was shivering. Let me break it down for you.
It was totally his fault. He deserved it. He cheated on me with other girls, even though we were not formally in a relationship. I mean, so what if i accepted to be reduced to a friend of benefits? Does that mean you still go out and find a girl for the public eye? You do not make a fool of me and get away with it. That was when i decided i’d call in the help of the evil- mastermind. Her name was Shiela, but we all referred to her as the ‘CAMPUSER’. She was rather proud of her nickname. Despite her thick kiganda accent (and you know how local that can sound), her wierd walking style (still trying to figure out if its a limp), and her potruding belly, she still managed to look on point, mainly due to the fact that she had expensive clothes. She was always ready to respond to a ‘sister’s’ cry for revenge. It was believed that she had taken an oath to make men pay for the pain they cause women. Anyway so she came over and we had a talk. I tod her about Abid, and she, as usual, presented the options. Seeing as he is naturally a broke man, i decided against emptying his pockets. What’s the point if they are already empty. Disorganising his family was also eliminated. I beg not to disclose the reason why. Anyway the third option is the one that made me shiver. It made me weak at the knees. It made me swet. All this at the same time. To sum it all up, i loved it. She was to begin effecting her plan that evening.
At around 7.30, as Abid left akamwesi for his evening lectures, we bumped into him. I introduced her and ten minutes later, she had his number. He must have been thinking his game was tight, seeing as it had been easy. I watched his smile of satisfaction and knew mine was not far.
Two weeks later, im seeing they are tight!
EH! OK! If this is still part of the plan… kiika!
A week later, im in my room minding my own business as usual, when Abid comes knocking. I let him in and he breaks down. He keeps wailind about how he is sick. He knows he is sick. He wants to kill himself… bla bla bla!
All the yap yap yadiyadah is getting to me, but i decide to play the caring friend of benefits and i encourage him to talk to me. This is his story:
‘After i met Shiela, a friend of mine told me she was a loose chick. So i talked to her about it and she told me how everyone loved spoiling her name. She was even a virgin. Why do people say things which are not true. She told me to tell her who had said those things so they can come and testify if they had slept with her to find out. With all her tears i was totally convinced. She has this vulnerability about her that cannot allow you walk away from her just like that. Two weeks later we started moving out. She started slowly pushing or sex, but i wanted to take my time for this virgin. Finally, the time came. She was temptation itself. Even if i had wanted to hold back, i wouldnt have had the will to. We had no condoms, but since she had me convinced she was a virgin, i figured she would swallow the pills later on. Her boldness should have triggered something, but waaah! I was too taken up. I only came to my senses when i put Jack Bauer inside Sophie, and there was no resistance. Immediately i pulled out. She was as wide as a basin. As soon as that was done, i knew i was sick.’
I said my sorries, exscused myself, went to the bathroom, opened the shower, flashed the toilet and laughed my eyes out, and died. After that short session, i resurrected, walked out and offered to escort him for a blood test the following day at TASO Mulago.
The following day, i picked him up and we were off. I tried my best to make him feel at ease, but i wasnt doing a good job at that! He kept emphasizing how useless it was if the virus cannot be detected till after five months. As much as i wanted to aknowledge that he is right, i had to play along with Shiela and take him for the blood test. We reached towards lunch time and were made to wait. There was a que forming right next to us, and when we asked what it was for, we were told that those were the AIDS patients lining up for their meds. No sooner had we asked than we saw Sheila emmerge from the room where the sick were entering. She came out holding many tablets. At first i thought i had seen someone else. So this is why she had insisted i drag him along for an HIV test. Abid saw her, right before his legs gaveway, and he collapsed.
If there were doubts that revenge was sweet, this time it was confirmed.
Campusers!!!!!!!!!! What more can i say!!!!!!!
NB: It was all an act on her part. I forced her to take a test and it came out Negative!