So i told u guys about the first one, well it was bad, but i must say not as bad as this one!
So im in the office, commenting on some blogger’s writings, when the boss comes up to me and asks to put in an order for lunch at some expensive restaurant down the road. It being one of those things they just happened to forget to put in the job description, i do as im told. The rest of us wait for our simple lunch, and enjoy it, while the boss looks on, waiting for his. The hunger must have been unbearable, coz seconds later, he stands up and leaves for his office. In the middle of my meal, his order arrives. Wrapped in labelled foil with a decoratingly scented receipt, i receive the order and go up to the boss’ office to get the pay. He happens to be on the phone, and if i remember wel, i was told never to interrupt a phonecall unless my intention was to get sacked. Seeing that it was taking too long, i decide to pay for him, then claim my 20,000shs later on. How would he refuse??
So i do just that!
I tell him about the pay and he agrees to refund my money as soon as possible. This is before he realises he is almost late for a meeting, eats his food hurriedly like some hungry girl i remember in my school called rita who never had grub and always waited for school meals, and rushes off to the car, leaving me dumbfolded.
Ofcourse he will be back. Its just two o’clock. The meeting will surely be done by 5.
5o’clock reaches. No car, No boss.
5.15! Still nothing.
Ill give it 30 more minutes.
At 6, i search my handbag for some coins, and decide to slope to the stage, get a taxi for 300, and walk the rest of the journey home. Its not that far anyway. Ill claim the 20,000shs tomorrow.
So i start my journey.
First of all, i must emphasize that the day before i had put on my new plada shoes (anti chinese duplicates), and they had left blisters on my feet, thus the reason for the flat shoes.
So im thinking, this strolling thing is not so bad. I could actually get used to it instead of the occassional booda home. I even start humming to that new song of miki wine’s that i sent mike at work. Life doesnt feel so bad……………..YET!
So i finally reach the bottom of the slope, and, yes, im still modelling as usual on the road feeling the diva, when i lift my leg and step on the ground. I know you wont believe me, because i couldnt believe it myself! I had actually walked out of my sole. As in i had walked and left the sole of my shoe behind. I swear i never knew this was even possible. I thought shoes only get fishes, and things like that. To think i had to find out this was possible infront of a main road with traffic jam, and no booda man in sight. I start to panic. (OMG i think i just saw my classmate. The one i had a crush on for two years.) What social suicide.
After dragging my sole on the ground with my foot like a lame goat, this booda man comes up to me.
‘Ye ssebo.’ I answer, as i watch him come and park infront of me. (Do boodas park???) Anyway, knowing i have only 300shs which was supposed to be for my taxi, i decide to do the only noble thing a lady in my situation would do. Flirt-beg!
‘J’ebaale ko ssebo’
‘J’eebale’ he answers!
‘Ensuula!’ I think its some kind of greeting. I always hear ple use it!
‘Ye! Eyiyo ssebo!’
‘Hmmm. Bulungi.’ He says with a frown, then adds ‘Nyaabo Ogenda!’
At this point i have to do it. Im almost in tears. I move closer so no one can overhear our conversation.
‘Bambi ssebo nyamba. Nsaba ontwaale wali eli kumpi ku kobula! Engatto yange eyulise!’ i managed.
‘Ssebo nkwegayiridde! Nina bisaatu byoka by’engenda okozesa kola ‘ngatto! Ngenda na taambula paka’ eka! Nsasira baambi!’
After what felt like a lifetime, he agreed to take me to the cobler. As thankful as i was, i had nothing to give him. All i could do was stand and wave as he left.
I turn to the cobler and give him the shoe.
Without even blinking, he says, in his proudly broken english, ‘Zat willo be seveni andred!’
Never in my life had i imagined id gasp at such a price. But thanx to my humble face, i was able to have him settle for 300shs. The walk home was exhaustingly painful!!!
But not as painful as tomorrow will be if the boss denies me that 20 bob!
(PREVIOUSLY PUBLISHED IN THE WORKZINE)