Have you ever sat down and creatively come up with a way to earn extra money on the side? Kind of like how Bill Gates, in his boring years, would just have thoughts of microsoft and computers and stuff, or like how Donald Trump would just, over a cup of cappucino(white man’s yuckily bitter but pretty looking coffee-like thigi), decide to erect abuilding with his name on it, or like how Abid, due to failure to get employment years after graduation, and over a pot of boiled cassava, jut came up with the workzine? well i have.
It all started when i realised that my salary, pocket money, handbag money, wallet money, bra money, socks money, money for upkeep, hair allowance, airtime money, just to mention but a few, were just not going to cut it. I decided to explore other areas from which i can generate income. With my hardworking self, i must say i really tried. I worked so hard but the jobs only paid in kind, and not hard cash. (Dont think what i think your thinking! In kind i mean like i got expensive dinners, attended cool parties, hardly benched for friends for rides after a night out, and the list goes on.) I had worked hard at getting to know the great spenders, but these were people who did not find joy in putting money in your hands. They instead prided themselves on being great purchasers. ( I must explain again that this was all on a business level! To further break it down, i started partying with my boss on a totally business level. Let me go ahead and mention that that was my former boss. The one i have now is way above the partying level.)
Anyway the point is i was fed up. I therefore decided to get someone, who these people that i hang with would have no problem giving money, and with that, i’d also get paid. I typed out contracts and went in search of my hot friends. Many i had thrown out, because every girl wants to hang around people who look worse than her so that she always looks the best, but this time, i had to put something before me. I couldnt live life thinking about me, me, me,me! It was money’s turn and i was going to sacrifice for him. Thats what real true honest friends are for. So i call up this friend of mine and decide to take hoer out for an evening drink and catch up. I knew by the time we were done, my ‘crew’ would be ready to pick me up, and she would definately have to come with us. So, yeah. It all went as planned. They picked us up in the convoy (i swear it was a convoy of range rovers and one out of place dodge nitro), and off we went, first for the usual, an indian dinner, then for the real thing. The night went on well, and, just as you guessed, my friend and the richest in the pack started something. I was happy. Finally hings were falling in place.
Three days later, she calls to tell me about her happiness and blah blah blah. She kept saying, i dont know if i will get money, but when i do, ill let you know. Im like, its all good. Meanwhile im here telling the rich dude…. hmm chik likes you. But my friend, you better tight mark your territory. If you dont spend on her, she will find someone who will.
Now the problem is here. He was totally taking my advise, but not telling me, and my friend was not telling me either. So kweganba i was losing out. Business wasnt going as well as i hoped it would, and i kept thinking my tounge was not convincing enough.
Then one fateful day, i met her. She was at standard chattered bank with another friend of ours, going to open an account. Im like, eh! Ok! You must have had a really long shopping list this semester. I was almost believing myself when our friend blurts out…. ‘hmmmm, ur still on your parents’ shopping dimes? This one here has a walking bank. Not even an atm. Those ones have limits. he is an open cheque!’
At that point i internally lost it. I could hear my spirit (the invisible me) screaming, and it was almost getting physical up in there. If i had waited just 10 more minutes, i wouldnt know myself. There i was bursting my arse off everyday trying to convince mr. money to spend and yet he was doing even more than that.
Since this is a pg read, allow tme to cut the long story short because i have not found a way to poitely tell waht happens in between.
Two days later she takes me out for a burger. It was saturday actually, and did i mention, the burger came at half price…….
To conclude.. thats what you get for sharing business with girls!