Serakelz's Blog

The journey was unbearable. The heat was stinging, and the hunger and thirst that we tried to ignore had reached its bliss point. There was no water in sight, and somehow God had decided to shut the sky so no rain fell. We depended on the dew that the leaves had in the morning, and in the late afternoon, we released our urine into eachother’s mouths so we wouldnt die of thirst.
After what felt like a decade, but was just three days, we reached our supposed destination. We had crossed the border, but you couldnt tell. Everything seemed the same. The small temporary hut-like structures that blended in the bushes however showed that we would definately not be there that long.
It was the first night there when we saw him. They called him ‘The Great One’. No one spoke his name, but from the pictures that i had…

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Serakelz's Blog

‘What is she wearing?’ I thought to myself. ‘I know its just night prep, but doesnt she realise the cute student teacher will be patrolling?’
These were my thoughts, as i dressed up for prep. In my school, Aboke Girls, most of us were from the village, Lira or Gulu, and some from Apac, but one thing for sure is that we knew how to dress as well as those in kampala. We were allowed to wear our own sweaters over our uniforms, only for night prep, so you had to make sure the sweater was nice, or rather ballistic as many of us termed it.
I got dressed, in my pink and yellow sweater, ontop of the dress i would shorten with safety pins during prep. Make-up! What would i do without it? I put my black crayon and vaseline into my small purse, and headed to class.

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This is a story of loss

But not the kind that calls for pity.

This is a story of loss

But not the kind that brings loneliness.

This is a story of loss that comes with a peace

A peace only talked about by the spirits

A peace only known to the soul

This is a story of loss that talks of no pain

No pain to torment the weak

No pain to question the strong

This is a story of loss that comes with relief

Loss that comes with justification

Loss that seals a long awaited fate

Because this loss brings an end to sorrow.

With this loss, I learn to enjoy you again

With this loss, I learn to laugh with you like i used to

With this loss, though it means the body is no more,

I learn to embrace it blinding me forever from your pain

Yes, this is a story of loss.

But not the kind that calls for curses at He who should have kept you alive

This is a story of loss that calls for understanding

An understanding to the madness I may portray

An understanding to the reasons as to why I welcome the loneliness

This is a story of loss that has taught,

Even an open soul like me,

To enjoy the silence and the solitude

Because in serene space, where there are no voices or faces but mine

There you shall come to me, and there you shall speak to me.

And in that moment, I will fully understand

That this is a story of a loss that never was.


We are all human beings. That being said, we are very very different in so many ways; the way we think, the things we do, the way we react to situations, and so on. What one person finds offensive, may not be what another finds offensive, or it actually may. At the end of the day, we are all different and we all need to acknowledge that. Personally, embarrassment is my least favorite emotion. I can take a lot of nonsense, but not embarrassment. My friends, and the people i surround myself with, should know that. I have zero tolerance for people that embarrass me, and i am not proud of the fact that forgiveness does not come easy for me either.

I know many are thinking, people embarrass others everyday. Well, true. For me, i do not look at the act, but the motive behind it. The intent.

If someone posts pictures of me falling off a camel on face book because they genuinely believe it is funny, that i can take. I would probably do the same. It is really funny by the way. However, if they go ahead to tag people that they know i try my best to show my perfect side to; people i try as much as possible to keep out of my daily drama, there in lies the problem. That i cannot take.

If someone makes me a laughing stock in a taxi over 700ugx because they think it is funny, that i can take. Who doesn’t find a conductor running after someone hilarious?? At that at such a popular stage?? But if they go ahead to brag about how they embarrassed me and how i deserved it; and even go further to make sure it is their private joke every time they see me, that is malicious intent. No please, that i cannot take.

If someone shouts at me, spits in my face and practically drags me through the mud in a bar, and the only reason he can give for all that is the fact that his ego cannot take the fact that i do not acknowledge him as he thinks that i should; and all the while, my so called friends just stand and watch a telenova unfold before their eyes, not even bothering to stand up for me; i’m sorry, that i cannot take. Your wasted apologies may come later, and your proclamations of friendship may follow, but they will fall on deaf ears.

Life is too short to even think of surrounding myself with people that will be a reminder of the fact that they even thought for one second they could get away with trying to belittle me.

That said, allow me to emphasize, WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT. The way we handle our conflicts really varies. Some people are blessed with forgiving hearts. You do something bad to them today, they sleep on it, and the next day they are fine. Others simply cannot afford that luxury. You do something once, you are bound to do it again, so i might as well save myself the pending anger. Such people may be silent, but do not be fooled into thinking they have forgotten. They will laugh at your misfortune, long for your downfall and party when life deals you a knock out blow. I repeat, WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT. Do not therefore go ahead and judge me for thinking like the later.

When you were making an idiot out of me and repositioning your enlarged balls, i was curled up in my room beating myself up at how i could feel that insulted. I was crying myself to sleep thinking why the hell didn’t my friends stand up for me, yet God knows i would do the same for them. I was scoffing at the fact that i let you into my home and actually made you feel comfortable right before you turned around and stabbed me in the back. I was thinking, HOW THE F did i not see this coming?

I know many will look and say, ‘OMG how can you be so mad about something that small?’

Well, some people get mad at others for simple things like spreading a rumor. To me, id think, OMG, get over yourself. So someone spread a rumor that you’re getting married, BIG DEAL, or someone said you are a gold digging slut… BIG DEAL. But no, i respect the fact that something i wouldn’t dwell on, can piss you off so much because WE ARE DIFFERENT.

Some people keep beef for centuries because…. ‘dude refused to give me a ride.’ I would laugh at that, but that is just me. We should not think that just because something is a non issue to us, it should be a non issue to another.

I have practically given a never-ending speech, but i just felt it needed to be said.

So with that, people, PLEASE, respect others. I know at times there are fights between friends, and those, you can work out, and then there are unprovoked wars we pick. Just because you have an issue with me that i do not know about, does not justify your embarrassment of me. So let us mind the way we treat people, especially those we do not know very well. Let us keep in mind, some people hold grudges till death, and will go to the ends of the earth just to make sure you get what they think you deserve, even if it takes a lifetime. Hell, your next generation can suffer for you. If you are to pick a fight, it better be justified. You better be sure you have been wronged, and that your opponent knows why you are attacking them. Do not blindside people. One second we are good, the next i am a laughing stock in front of my peers. KTM. Some people take that bullish, i don’t. To others, it may be simple, but to me, embarrassing me the way you do may be equivalent to lying in a coma. Embarrassing me may be equivalent to being deaf and handicapped. You did not think about what i was feeling, do not expect me to sympathize when you are in trouble.To avoid all this, BE NICE TO PEOPLE YOU DO NOT REALLY KNOW AND DO NOT PICK UNPROVOKED FIGHTS. YOU MAY DO SOMETHING TO ME AND FORGET, SIMPLY BECAUSE WE ARE NOT EVEN FRIENDS, BUT YOU DO NOT KNOW IF I WILL LET IT GO TOO. YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I KNEEL AT MY BEDSIDE AND PRAY FOR GOD TO POUR HIS WRATH UPON YOU. YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW FAR I WILL GO TO SEE YOU HURT. WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT PEOPLE. REMEMBER THAT.

If you feel you need to check if your balls are in place, do it to your friends. Pick on your friends. At least there is a chance they will expect it, and know how to deal with you at your bitchiest moment, because they know you. DO NOT THINK OF PICKING ON PEOPLE YOU DO NOT KNOW> That’s just messed up!

And if you have a problem with someone that they evidently do not know about; for example you hate ‘her’ because of the way she walks, or ‘his’ attitude rubs you the wrong way, please RECOGNIZE THAT THAT IS YOUR PROBLEM AND NOT THEIRS! They are who they are. You have a problem with that, keep your distance. Do not use that as a reason to justify an attack on them. That is even MORE messed up. Who is to say they also didnt like the way You eat with food dripping at the sides?????

KINYIIZO NO.3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHITTY DAY (when the boss corners you and yet you cant kusemmba nakyo! wtf do u do??)

So today is monday.
Like most companies, we have those monday morning meetings that everyone dreads! In these, we are expected to give an overview of what we have achieved in the previous week, and what we hope to achieve the coming week.
Now i hate these moeetings. No, scratch that, i LOATH these meetings. And i know it is pretty obvious why. Unlike my workmates who feel the need to actually earn their salary, i prefer to just chill and let the petty cash im paid come in as pocket money. You know, money you are entitled to. So every monday, before the meeting, i rush to my workmates desk and ask him to share afew of his achievements with me so i can pretend to be hardworking. Now this worked for the first five months on the job. However, six months down the road, it is obvious the one thing i didnt count on was actual delievery.
You see, i am the Business Development Officer, and with that, i am basically expected to bring business into the company. As you can see, such results are easy to see, and when you do not deliver, you cannot lie your way out…. ofcoz unless you are me.
Now the thing is, i know i am the worst employee there is, but for God’s sake, i do not need you pointing that out infront of all my co-workers. And you sure as hell do not expect me to sit there and take in that shit. Huge Problem!!!!!!!!.
So we go in for the meeting, and when my turn to present my stuff reaches, i confidently lie about what i had done and what i hope to do.
The Boss, feeling he is tired of my lack of results, decides to open his mouth to the maximum and hurl what felt like insults to me. Sadly, it was the truth. Tears welled up in my eyes. HE was literally laying out my dirty laundry and he expected me to sit there and claim it as mine. NO WAY!!!!
i decided to shout back. Yes! Not calmly defend myself because that would mean the rest of the people would weigh out the argument and see that i was in the wrong. So i had to shout with a shaky voice, so the rest could notice the tears threatening to pour, and believe that i was surely being accused falsely.
Im sure the boss didnt see this coming. HE looked at me speechless, and asked that i leave if i didnt want to work. At this point, the arrogance in me threatened to walk out, then i remebered the ka girl who owed me money down at the NOC, and thought twice. Id quit after she pays.
After the meeting, i needed to get everyone else on my side. Who cares if the boss knows the truth…. These workmates of mine gotta respect me!
LOL, so i paraded them their and told them how my work was totally being hindered by my boss, and bla blabla! Listening to myself, i was totally convinced.
Now, with all my workmates telling me not to worry, and to just relaz because it is obvious the boss had a bad day, i must say i am calm.
HOWEVER… i know one day i will be found out bulungi and ill have nothing to backup my lies. So im job hunting!
in other news…….. u guys shud to chek out the blogs on

Ugandans have never been so talented!

Great reading stuff u just gotta chek out!

So somehow, something strange is happeneing inour country. A few years ago, the only readers and writers we knew in Uganda were those that wrote articles for newspapers, and those that read the stuff that was written. PERIOD. But now things have changed. People everywhere are learning to put their thoughts to paper, and others are learning that there is another way to pas time, and it is called reading.
This brings me to the point im getting at.
I am one of those people that always look out for any articles so i can pass time. But readind has become more of just a pass time activity. I now have it scheduled in my timetable right next to faking work at work.
It is therefore on one of these days that i discovered a great page that has amazing blogs. It is just a starter, but im sure with the great talent it has, it is going to be a big one soon.
In particular. you might want to check out



They come stylish, good-looking, and seemingly irresistible. They usually have a track record of being wanted by the opposite sex of all shapes and sizes, and are supposedly the experts when it comes to dating. For some reason, they are many times approached, despite the fact that their reputation precedes them, and they rarely turn down a proposal. They are relationship addicts and cannot survive without partners. They do long terms relationships, of up to seven years (and that’s forever for a 16 year old like me), but close friends can tell that the relationship has been on the rocks since year one. They are good at fooling their partners into believing that it is the real definition of love. These individuals know what they want, and they go for it.
When you dig deeper, you will realize that they are from lower- middle class families (very poor by my standards), and do not have easy access to the simple pleasures of life people their age enjoy, like pocket money every month. They love to hang-out and pretend to associate themselves with the ‘cool’ people in their age bracket. They insist on joining conversations about these ‘cool’ people, simply repeating what they have heard from the idle gossips of the lower class. When you meet these ‘cool’ people who happen to be your friends, the gold diggers shy away knowing their names are not even known, let alone their faces recognizable. (Wow! It’s even a big deal to them!)
Did I mention that these gold diggers are usually from those sub- standard secondary schools (I would have mentioned a few, but I fear for my life. However, people from the good government secondary schools know the ones I’m talking about. You know those schools. You used to avoid them whenever they happened to attend functions at your schools). Their excuse is always, ‘I was supposed to go to Kings College Budo. In fact they called me in second term s.1, but I had already settled in N……’
God knows we have heard it all. Anyway that is how they lay their foundation. When you meet them at a party, or anywhere for the first time, they are the ones pulling off that arrogant swag that is so devastatingly sexy. The ones who people love to openly hate and secretly adore. But after the first meeting, you realize they are too clingy. Their friendship patterns do not go through phases, especially if you appear to be from the class they desire to have been born into. If there is one thing they are not embarrassed to use, it’s those love songs and love scenes in movies. Anything to get you to say yes. You want to play hard to get? They will show you that they never give up.
When you begin dating, they will be quick to announce to everyone you meet, that you are officially an item. They know there is nothing more girls love, like labels. My girlfriend. My boyfriend. My man. My woman. Bla bla bla. The first days may be wonderful. But trust me, this lasts only days. If you’re lucky, a week. The next week, he will have an urgent money problem, and his ATM card will be swallowed by Centenary Rural Development bank, the most crowded bank in the city. He will ask to borrow just a bit. He will first give you the speech about how he is so embarrassed to ask you, but he will surely pay you with interest as soon as possible. The following week, another problem would have come up. Being a girl, you would have expected to see the signs, seeing as this is what you have been doing to all those lousy benchers since you could officially wear heels. But munange, EKIGAMBO KYA LAAVU!
Before long, he will be finding excuses not to take you out on dates. Movies will be borrowed and watched in your room (his is probably empty), meals will always be a bargain, with his excuse of lovely places being far. Your birthday?????? When??? Two days away??? He will pick a fight over the fact that your heels are too intimidating, or that your eyes seem to have dilated too quickly. Valentines day????? Oh! He will make sure you are not on talking terms, and he will make you believe that it is your fault. Try and lose something with any kind of monetary value. TRY!! BANAGE JUST DARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You will see. I put my hand to be cut off if he contributes even a cent. Ntekawo omumwa gwamge bagu silise! Banage just dare. Mbu nga you’re thinking he will be like any other man and try to bail you out. Just try. Try if you’re bold enough. If you’re fees has been stolen, he will pick a fight over the fact that the bag you were putting it in looks like it was bought by a man. Walai! After you have cleared your bills, you can pick up where you left off. You might want to start with an apology for making him angry.
Months later, you will be tired of not going out to fun places with your HOT man, and you will decide to start paying the bills. Ice cream, movies, dinners, beach outings, shows, you name it. If you can afford it, he will be there to make you look good. The fact that he is extremely handsome will keep you locked. You will look at him and your money will seem so petty.
He will then slip into the comfort zone. He will know you are finally in the cutex bottle. Everytime you call him to come see you, he will demand payment, and will not even try to make it sound sweet. ‘Baby, I’m only coming over if you’re giving me fifty thousand.’ Be sure to have it in hand when he arrives, or else he will turn around and leave.
At this point, your friends have warned you, but you defend your man. Ladies, this is a deadly stage. You are stuck. He will demand for credit every day, and you will send it to him. He will ask for ridiculous sums of money, and you will comply. When this begins to happen, be sure he is using that money on the next girl who is going to replace you. This new type of gold digger never pays for anything. Oh, if you have been a good girl, he will get his relative to take you all out. Either way, he is not picking up the bill, come hell or high waters. I could go on forever, but I have limited space. All I can say is girls, PLEASE!!! WATCH OUT!!!!!!! If that is love, I beg to remain single. As my friend says, ‘EYO LOVE BANNONGOSE!!!!!’
NB: After all this, as much as everyone wants to claim that money should not fit into the equation when it comes to relationships, we all know that you put your money where your mouth is. Besides, we all know a man in love will give a girl even those huge ass teddy bears we pretend to love. Anything. If he cannot afford what she wants, he will find a way to make her happy.

(BTW im still looking for a ‘MULAANGIRA’ to marry so I can reconcile UPC and Buganda before 2011. Balaangira, please do not fit the above description!)


This is a day that is way up there in a girl’s calendar, with days like her first birthday, campus birthday and real birthday. With days like her first everything with each and everyone of ‘them’ still hanging around. It is way up there with the irrelevant days that allow her a chance to maximzie her feminity.

Valentines day. February the 14th!

This, im afraid, is one of those things I am not proud to say is a true story. It started two weeks before the due date. Yes. Believe it or not, we do plan ahead when it comes to relevant things like valentines day. It would have been a month before, but it is not easy to create an illusional relationship for that long. Two weeks. Just perfect. Not too long for me to get bored with the illusion of being in a relationship, and not too short for the guy to keep me in the friend zone. There was no way I was going to be among those girls who proclaim the joys of single hood just because they have no flowers and fattening chocolates. If I was to declare single hood, it was going to be after receiving gifts, and by choice. All I had to do was pull out my biggest bag of tricks. The ones that never fail. Tried and tested on both humans and animals. Guaranteed to produce results. Holy ghost filled, water baptised, honestly sanctified, and everything else that falls along those lines. It was time for me to get myself a three legged human being. Time really was of the essence.

First, I had to identify my target. Now I didn’t really want someone serious who would waste the better part of my youth tying me down, or someone very unserious who dealt in minutes. I needed a two week man. A two week man with the ability to buy a large bouquet of flowers, a few boxes of chocolate (not many, just 7. 5 for me and 2 for the single beggars), and a bottle of wine. If he did dinner, that was an extra bonus that would be welcomed.

From day one, business was slow. I must say I was truly disappointed by the lack of potential and ability harboured by the guys I run into! I decided to pull out the big guns. My girls were going to be my back up. There is something about many girls in a group that just makes them look irresistibly appealing to my targeted kind of guys.

It was at Boda boda that I met him.

He walked in and immediately I had taken my pick. I thanked God for that new hairstyle Toepi in wandegeya had styled for me! It really helped get me past the bouncers. After modeling past him for five minutes, spilling my drink at his feet, and finally pretending to collapse on his lap, he talked to me. Although, as you may imagine, the conversation seemed strained at first, Bosco, or ‘The Boss’ as I later named him finally opened up. (In the bag of tricks, a nickname that commands respect can work wonders!) We had a few laughs, realized we knew the same people (bobi wine…… my ghetto-mate, his idol), drunk the same drinks (tap water… in his defence, boda boda is weirdly expensive), and had an insane love for long hair (I only found out on day ten that he meant his chest hair!). I was infatuated. I was estatic! I was telemundod!!! Ok now im just saying words, but you know what im talking about! I was in business.
by day 10, i was already used to sending morning, mid morning, afternoon, after lunch, tea break and goodnight messages! (Long live WARID!) there was no way i was going to be forgotten. we did coffee, commedy nights, and night outs. i introduced him to my friends as my man, and watched as his chest swelled, confirming beyond a reasonable doubt nti i was in kiintu. This was heaven. I could smell the white lillies. ( i had even decided i wouldnt ask for common roses!) february 14th was drawing closer, and i had to seal the deal. i hinted hinted, hinted hinted, then hinted hinted some more. i had no backup plan because for once, i believed i was calling the shots.
Day thirteen however brought me back to reality. we go for that saturday night out, and as always, to avoid getting uncomfortably cosy, i invited my friends. as always, he seemed dissappointed, only this time, he also brought his friends along. we headed for that cool place, and the night started off well, as usual. But i soon started to notice that all my friends were paired up, and each guy had his own ride. to get to the next venue, we all left with our prospectives. I knew this was trouble. Much as The Boss was a nice guy, he wasnt good enough for anything else, and i hadnt even prepared myself psychologically for body contact! As you can imagine, i failed to deliver.
I had planned to tell you all the gory details, but my heart is weak. All i can say is that on day fourteen, i had a candle-lit dinner of rolex (it did not feel right for me to parade my single self at a proper eating joint, seeing as i wasnt in the mood to force excitement and lie about the white lillies and chocolates i threw back at that unworthy Bosco! That would be a story for the next day!) with my self proclaimed single friend in her room, and to date, im still waiting for someone to fill the empty vase taking up space on my dressing table.


There is something about women that many people pretend not to understand, and yet it is quite clear. I really dont know why people say they are difficult. One just has to understand the universal concepts that link all women. Dont say women put a price tag on love or relationships. or any other nonsense that insinuates greed. Its just how God created them. Besides, it is common knowledge that there is something about a woman pulling money out of her wallet that dries up her love! Anyway now the moral of the story, or the point, or the continuation!
I was bored oneday, watching some irrelevant stuff on an irrelevant piece of equipment, when the irrelevant person said something that seemed irrelevant, but was very true. Dont worry, i will share.
This irrelevant person said that women are a specie that can compromise on alot of things, like how a man looks, education, sex, etc, but there is one thing they will never compromise, and that is lifestyle. A woman, according to this irrelevant creature, could never go backwards when it came to lifestyle. Evidence commences as follows:
The very first guy shantiliquisha ever dated, was a lousy shmuk with braces, plump and skinny depending on the weather, and was almost expelled for body odour. But the one thing he never failed to do, was buy her lunch. She was never without a great meal whenever classes ended, be it break, lunch, after lunch, tea break, you name it, and she didnt even have to carry her mother’s sweetpotatoes to school. From that day forth, the standard was set. There was no dating a guy who could not buy her meals.
Later, when technology caught up with her. the man she had at that time always woke her up with credit for her phone. On a good day, it was up to 10,000, and on a bad day it was 500. This was good. After he left, the next guy had to be able to buy credit and keep her phone alive.
It may not be written in stone because the floods may come and the stone will sink to the bottom, but it is real.
Ladies, remember the first time you dated a guy with his own car; friday nights were nolonger about hanging out with alot of girlfriends so that you can each foot the bill for the taxi cab, regardless of how boring the company actually was. They were nolonger about packing flat shoes in your bag for the long walk back from the party! Your man had you covered. You could happily leave the club and wave to your friends as they stood by to flag a cab. From that day forth, the cute, tall glass of wine with no ride just didnt cut it!
What about the first time you dated that guy with his own apartment? You visualized your closet space. No more packing all your clothes when it was time to leave, incase his mama found sexy underwear in her only child’s room. You could scream as loud as you wanted and give orders with no obstacles. After that, there was no way in hell you were dragging yourself back to any mother’s house.
And the first time your man took you on a trip. It was a romantic getaway to Seychelles. You couldnt even pronounce the name of the island, but you loved it! If the next guy couldnt come with a passport ready for use, he was definately of no use.
All in all, when it is time to tie the knot, a real woman should have a man who will buy her meals, send her credit, drive her around, put a roof over her head, take her travelling all over the world, and all the other things that could come after. A woman will not, and should not settle for less.